I don't have some old letters preserved in the corners of room to read and revive
the memories of time spent with her , nor i have her pics but one sketch made
on a piece of tissue in a coffe shop .The blotted ink on that piece of paper reminds me
it was raining that day and she was in her best of moods , playing with her green hair
clip,clutching it into my arm and laughing everytime i complained it hurts .
On nights like this when its raining outside,when i gaze out of the window
and a gentle breeze gushes in my room ,when i call her number but i get no reply
there's this feeling that i can't explain .Only three simple words “I miss her”
i miss her more than ever.Everytime you miss someone,there's this feeling
that makes you do things that you start missing them even more.I read all
conversations we ever text to each other,and its an amazing feeling going back
in time,peeling off the layers and looking at the seed of love buried deep down
in your heart,and sometime piled under the numerous messages in your cellphone.
Feeling the same excitement you felt when you text her the first time and keep
looking at your cellphone for the next few hrs,waiting for that beep ..
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
It was 2 am in the morning , what most of us would say the middle of the night.
I was lying there on a cold numb floor looking at the cieling of my room. The thoughts
were crawling fast on my mind , that time i never sensed it was cold and whole of my body was going numb. "Will she ever love me the way people get loved?”
She was deep in slumbers in the other room . All this time i was thinking about this silhouette lying in the other room , a svelte , silhouette who was all about love for me.
I took a Marlboro and dragged the fag . Not really smoked but tried to puff some rings out of the smoke.In the smoky dark things were not certain to me , about this relationship if I could call it one .And here he was lying , Atharv, still like his name with a bunch of maddening emotions within .
She had wished me a gudnite and some sweet dreams some two hours back .I was still thinking the same thing. “ should I have kissed her a gudnite ? should I have hugged her a gudnite ? should I have gazed in her lovely deep eyes ?”
In the middle of all this , when I was oblivious of my surroundings . She came through the aisle inbetween and said “You have insomnia or its just the ciggi that keeps u awake ? “ she said sarcastically smiling . I didn't let the wonderful feeling go away
“ well I have other pretty things keeping me awake" , I said looking at her eyes mischieviously. She looked into my eyes and said “ well i'm kinda loosing sleep these days too” .
“ I hope its not me,though I will wish for it” I mummbeled jumbelled with some laughter springing in silent room.
“ And about your sleepless nights,I know its me, but its not something I wished for” there was a melancholy in her voice this time. She kissed me on my cheeks for the first time ever and went to the other room draping herself in a wollen shawl.
“ sometimes u want something, well you get that something ,but then at that moment somehow you can't hold that something” she said and walked away .
And that was the first time I got to know about her pain , though oblivios of wat it was,
and I thought to myself “ I want to heal her sorrow” .